The following is an approximate translation of my reaction to your piece.
" Ah, a shot of a cute school-girl cuddling some pastel-colored Moe blobs. She's even beginning to dry-hump the green one! And yet he seems so impaassive. A splendid bit of kinky nonsense. I could look at this for--
" Wait. What the hell is going on with her mouth? What's that round, brownish thing? And those white lines under it? Oh, I see now. It's some kind of candy, that's a wrapper.
" But, wait a minute. What's up with her eye? Is she wearing an eye-patch? Is... is she slipping her finger under their to scratch at some kind of horribly festered wound? And what's her expression trying to convey? Is she in pain? Turned on? Completely indifferent to her grotesque eye-wound, munching some kind of caramel crisp while attempting to seduce a green blob? Are those other blobs getting jealous? Is that why they seem to be coming closer, about to pounce and seize this one-eyed, candy-eating school-girl's affections for their own?!?!??
"What. Is. Going. On. Here?"
While the quality of the art-work itself is high, the arrangment is confusing, and the action is less than clear. The chaos around the girl's face is attract so much attention and is so distracting that the meaning of the piece becomes lost.
The shading is Perfect! The light and the area where it is is marvelous! And - lucky you- I LOVE THAT ENDING! The way shes posing is likes shes telling you "my dango!" XD ya i know! anyway this is a unique and Wonderful piece of colletion! and whoevers Birthday it is, They have a wonderful Picture for there __th B-day! and now i will say my other lines- LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLI LOVE IT LOL lOL lOL lOL lOl LOL lOL lol ITS THE BEST LOL lOL lOL lOL lOl LOL PIE! anyway its a wonderful Masterpiece and i think you should create more in your life-span